I am reminded tonight about life being short. Intangible right to the end. Maybe it's because I'm 40 now. Or that my daughter is a full blown independent driver without me. Without me having control.
The other day I was wondering if I should organise my own playlist for my funeral and wake. Be fucked if someone puts on something I would have hated!
Someone contacted me about their good friend who passed away recently. It was sad to read despite not knowing the deceased - it was sad all the same. My compassion was still present. Someone loved this lady. She was someone's partner. Or friend. Or the mistress of her pet. She was loved.
I was also reminded that today is the first death anniversary of my ex boss - Ted - who died of cancer aged 72. I can't say too much here because his name is famous. The media google his name and I don't want my blog to bring our cause shame.
Tomorrow I will wear the same red silk scarf to work as I wore to his state funeral. I am feeling a tad meloncholy, moping around unable to focus on my over-due policy analysis assessment. Feeling inspired to succeed. To make a difference. To travel. To help.
I'm reminded again of my preferred field, with male survivors watching Boystown - and the tales of sexual abuse the brave amazing men are sharing.
What will happen when you go? Who will be with you as you take your final breath?
What will people remember about you one year after you've gone?
Will they remember their own short-comings?
I wish I'd told them................
Why didn't they forgive me?
Did he/she know how much I cared?
I hope he knows how much I cared.
What stories will people say about you when it's the anniversary of your death?
Drive carefully. Love someone today. Be nice to each other.
Tomorrow is another day.