Occupations

I've been a bit lax in blogging and for that I have no excuse but the truth. The truth is that my teenage daughter has monopolised the computer nightly and most weekends. She started on a forum chatting to people that are mostly the same age as her about their favourite tv show. That grew quickly to msn exchanges, email and now web-cam. She's made some international friends and gets up early to chat to them on the weekend.

I don't mind this on the weekends but school nights is a strict routine.

Now, you all know that I work in the field of child abuse, specifically the nasty stuff. So, I'm sure you can imagine how overprotective and alert I am of who she is chatting to. I've met my share of internet freaks (Hi!) and I'm an adult.

To say that I've educated her about online dangers would be a given. I've glossed over some stories of predators and email her different cyber bullying case-scenarios as well. I know she supports these because she forwards them to her teen friends and often cc's me into what she's emailing. Nice.

I do trust her. But I don't trust the skills of the predators out there. She's already had older people ask her if she 'wants some fun' via webcam. She is trained now to report abuse to web administrators and collect IP numbers for mummy who notifies the local authorities of the predators location. I've already reported a few pervs who found this blog looking for under-age material. Our computer stays in a shared living space. This means I can see who she is chatting to on web-cam and they can see me if I'm walking past sneaking a peek over her shoulder.

I've also set up parental controls on the computer to monitor her google searches, censorship and chat-links. She knows I'm checking this. Her unlimited access is subject to my approval of her behaviour on line. Am I too harsh?

Most times she says 'Muuuuum. Leave me alone! I'm okay!!!' and I feel like a toxic overprotective mother with a ball of cotton wool in each hand.

I am not OVERLY protective. I allow Carissa a lot of freedoms too. I realise there are significant issues when you rob your children of the chance to make decisions, learn by consequence and fail sometimes. I do not have irrational fears, I think. I understand that when she goes for a run, she's likely to NOT break her leg and sometimes I even let her and a friend walk to the shop without me - that's a big one. I don't want Carissa to learn to be dependent on others. I've been there as an adult and it's a burden. I understand that overprotective parents rob their children of the sense of achievement when something new is overcome.

This brings me to you.

Regarding your job, does it impact on your loved ones? Or your friends if you live alone? Do you find yourself giving work related advice out of hours? Can you switch off?

Do you bring secondary affects home despite knowing that you shouldn't?

Does it start with snarling at the kids if you're over-worked and end with fatigue?

Or perhaps you're balancing someone's books as an accountant outside of the 9 am - 5 pm hours.

How much DOES our career affect our personal life?

Should your friends and family be given a break from the stuff you lay on them?

Take care
C

Mothers Day

Today is Mothers Day in Australia. On this weekend, random cars pull over to make-shift flower stalls on the side of the road to buy chrysanthemums for mothers and grand-mothers on their way to lunch or dinner.

I don't tend to recieve a 'proper' gift from Carissa unless I organise a shopping date and let her drift around to buy something. I have in the past given her money and a friend of mine has taken her to the shopping centre but over the last couple of years, my gifts are aplenty and I feel Mothers Day gifts are unnecessary.

Of course, like most families, we don't wait for this day in May to celebrate each other and the love we have for each other. My daughter and I are very close and love each other dearly.

I also ring my mother and we speak for awhile. Normally she has something that pulls her away from the phone so the chats are always brief.

This morning Carissa and I went to East Terrace Continental for Breakfast. It was delicious as usual. We can't go past banana pancakes or a ETC traditional breakfast. They also sell the perfect cappucino and milk-shake for bub.

Later, we went for a walk through the Adelaide Markets which always deliver an array of colourful stalls and delightful food samples. This morning we saw baby alpaca's, bought a funky designed t-shirt for bub, a set of three woven baskets for me, a ridiculously obscene cupcake for bub with broken Mars Bars on top of butter cream and held hands all day laughing at the buskers, the baton twirlers and the colourful fairies parading up and down the Rundle St Markets.Later in the afternoon, she begrudgingly went with her dad to see his mother. I wish my mother were local because she would be included in our shopping and lunches and we'd be able to give her some lovely gifts. Maybe one day.

Presently I'm baking a roast lamb smothered in rosemary and garlic, our favourite, ready for her return. We're planning to sit in front of the big-screen telly with a comedy movie I've rented for a laugh.

For me these precious days holding hands, wiping choc from her chin and giggling at freaky-lookin people, with a mish-mosh hand-made card to CookieLips (that's me) is worth more than any gold jewellery, slippers or coffee cup.

What does mothers day mean to you?

Is it a day to cringe and distract yourself to escape unresolved pain of the past?

Are your historical memories a permanent fixture or can they be changed to something more different?

Is it a day to spoil your mother or mother-figure with a card and gift?

Perhaps you buy her a carvery meal at her favourite pub or perhaps you just visit and sit with her for a few moments longer.

Mothers come in all shapes and forms.

For some, aunty is the mother. Nanna is the mother. Even some great dads wear both titles.

Each to their own. We're all diverse and lovely. I especially send my love to the old people forgotten in aged homes and safe foster parents out there sharing love with someone else's borne child. The adoptive parents, the ivf mums - all of you deserve a medal!

For those of you still trying to be a mother, keep trying. It really is the most magical journey you'll embark on.

For those of you who are already lucky enough to be a mother, I hope you had a lovely day.

xx
Cath

Touching base

Hi everyone,

First of all, the 'Secret' post was a resounding success and a juicy one at that. I have no idea who owns which secret and I'm happy to be left in the dark - thanks!

Thanks to everyone for sharing a secret or three. I acknowledge they weren't easy and took some bravery to type even anonymously!

A few things have been happening here. First of all, it looks like I'm going to start my psychology degree. I've been offered a scholarship to begin with and see how I go. They're happy to support me with this given that I'm permanent in the position and obviously passionate about child s/abuse. To say it's a hurdle would be an understatement. Although I'm passionate and deeply driven by the work, I'm also lacking in self-confidence to crawl over this huge hurdle. BUT, I'm going to try.

Secondly, I turned 36 on 21st April. Thanks to Michael (kiss!) who sent a text message and dropped me a little comment here unexpectedly. I also was completely surprised to attend an indian dinner with Belinda and bub and when I rocked up, to find a table full of my dearest friends, their partners and their children. What a treat! They even bought presents and I had NO idea it was even happening! Dumb-ass.

Had a garage sale at house and realised that I'm a bit of a sales person making 50 bucks in a couple of hours of my old Country Road suits, Witchery, and David L, and along with some old Espirit jeans, I have de-cluttered the house. I even parted with cd's that I love but don't listen to. That hurt....

I've organised for a professional spring clean and carpet steaming to take place on Monday ready for inspection on Tuesday. Happy happy joy joy! I'm sick of spending my weekends cleaning the place. No more!

Carissa is as happy as Larry. He's such a happy bloke. Her father finally seeing the benefits and slotting into the role of weekend dad easier than he thought. He's scheduled his footy around her time and is taking her out to lunch, movies and spending quality time instead of wasting his time doing nothing. They're both happy. He's also running different errands for me related to her and paying for them which helps me enormously working full-time. He says 'I'm happy to help', which is a big tick in my book. I'm also elated that I haven't seen his wife for over a month and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. We've finally got separate lives - 10 years after separating!

So that's me in a nut-shell. I haven't forgotten about you all - I just didn't want to interrupt the steady flow of secrets until everyone was done and dusted.

What's going on in your neck of the woods? All okay? Are you as tired and exhausted daily as I am?

Do tell.

Secret

In the news recently, a young married mother falsely claimed she had cancer and months to live. She was lying to gain the sympathy of thousands of people. In applying this lie, she received thousands of dollars raised by the community radio station, charities and freebies who naturally reached out to help a young mother. It was all lies.

So, she held this little secret for a few months. How shameful. For the record, I know someone who did this and like this chick accepted thousands of dollars. I'm tempted to report her for deception and fraud too. She even told her teenage son she was dying when she wasn't.

In earlier news, a South Australian couple with one daughter, revealed they were genetically father and daughter. To say the incestous couple were attacked would be an understatement. Australia was revolted.

Do you have a secret? If so, do you want to share it?

Maybe you cheated on someone
Maybe you are tempted to cheat on someone
Maybe you have a crush on someone you shouldn't
Maybe you knicked someone's lunch from the work fridge
Maybe you do something behind your parents back
Maybe you faked it last time in your lover's arms
Maybe you are waiting for someone better to come along
Maybe you resent the birth of your children
Maybe you hate yourself for some choice you've made
Maybe you spend too much time on line and hate yourself for it
Maybe you have an image problem
Maybe you secretly hate your friend but can't say so
Maybe you wish you were Paris Hilton or Britney Spears but can't tell anyone
Maybe you wish you were black
Maybe you wish you were white

Maybe Maybe.. you'll share it with us.......... anonymously please. I really don't want any negative attention following you back to your own blogs.

Stupid comments will be deleted as per the normal 'delete fuck-tard comments' policies.

xx

Scorpy

Rapt to hear that Scorpy's well, eh? That's the best news I've heard in awhile in this cyber-world.

Cheers mate

Scent

In the last post, a couple of people mentioned bad breath, poor hygiene and other things as being deal-breakers for a potential love interest.

Some also mentioned SCENT as being a major turn on for them. That is providing the scent is a positive scent.

So, here it is....... favourite smells..... perfumes, cut grass, baby-skin, your lover's pillow. Do tell.

What scent do you a/ LOVE and b/ Wear!

Personally I'm a Bvlgari girl. Most days, I wear Bvlgari Pour Homme for Men and other days, I wear Bvlgari Omnia for women. I also have a bottle of Kenzo "Flower" in my office.(pictured: Omnia by Bvlgari)
I used to love Elizabeth Arden's 5th Avenue when I was growing up and Samsara around 2002.

So, what are you wearing?

What scents and smells make you drift off to a happy place for a moment?

PS. New poll in the top right hand corner! Have your say!

Deal-breakers

(image by Kazuya Akimoto)

The beautiful but stormy Cynic With Flair recently wrote about a date with teeth. I'm sure he had a person attached to them but gee it made me laugh. AND think. She always does this.

Picture this....

You're on a date. It all looks great so far. You've talked on the phone. S/he seemed nice when you met them last week where there was only enough time to exchange numbers. Or you've met them online and are finally meeting in person. You've got a good vibe so far.

You walk in. Your heart is pounding. You've made an effort. If you're a girl, you might have worn your nicest underwear even though you say no nookie on the first date. If you're a guy, you might have trimmed the captain and the boys hoping for nookie on the first date.

You hope they're everything you expect them to be. Or they say they are. Is this going to end in disaster? Will you need to change your e-mail address or phone number?

You look over there. They say g'day. You respond politely and head towards the table.

There it is.......... early, during or after dinner.. the deal breaker.

For Cynic (and myself) it's BAD TEETH = all bets off.

What physical flaw or personality trait would immediately result in you backing slowly away from the table and bolting for the front door asap?

Spill. I'm dying to know.

Narcissist Pest!

Several of my friends were bombarded with pictures from that Mystery Man in NYC (MovieMagik) sending the women pics of nipples, close-ups of his pecs and I got a cock shot or two.

I asked you to stop sending them to me and you did. I didn't however realise that you would go through my blog-roll scouring out email addresses to send to female blog-friends of mine. Do you think we all wait by our computers hoping that anonymous fuck will send us close-up of hairy man nipples to make our fucking day? Do you really think you're THAT GOOD?

Please stop sending us your pictures. Could you be any more narcissistic? Go and find another NIPPLE FETISH person, mate.

To the women (and gay men who received the forwarded images) recipients of these pics I wish to categorically state that I do not know him and I strongly do not condone his behaviour. He's a polite pest who is provoking comment about his pictures from ladies that have better things to do than stroke some net freak's failing ego.

Knock it off. You're embarrassing yourself.

So ladies, if you don't like it, please block him or tell him to cease and desist. You won't be offending any friend of mine.

PS. Your previous post and pictures here have been deleted for ungentlemanly conduct, opportunistic behaviors and taking false liberties! They're simply NOT worthy on my annual, fun (aka not harassing) boob competition!

Fantasy Persons

A couple of posts ago, I confessed that I always think of Michael when I masturbate. Unfortunately it's mutual and we both wish it would stop but that's just the way it is. It's not even that Michael is the only person that's given me great sex or the most regular sex, or the last sex I had. For some reason, I can't shake his image and it sucks!

As I said in my previous post, I've been so sick. I've been going to bed early, sore and drinking buckets of water to compensate for feeling so dehydrated and filling tissues with awful clear gunk.

I took my box set of Sex in the City to watch in bed and as usual they made me laugh and laugh. I gather so much inspiration from that show. It really makes me laugh.

Anyway, there is a scene where the girls are discussing who they picture when they masturbate. Miranda and Carrie sing in unison 'Russell Crowe' and before him, George Clooney. Charlotte confesses it's still Trey despite their marriage and premature ejaculation woes.

So my question to you: who do you think about when you're masturbating?

Bo Bo talked about porn. Mutley probably will say 'your red g-string that you left here Ms Smack' but seriously, WHO do you think about?

Is it a real person? An ex lover? A future lover? A work colleague? eek!

Spill it. Anonymous comments welcome for this post. I appreciate you wanna be dirty and spill your secrets but want to protect your identity.

Smooch,
C

Random Smack

Busy busy busy. I've been so busy obviously spending more time with my girl and redecorating her room while she was at Camp for a few days. Feeling like shite at the moment with the flu that's consumed me and made my nose all red and chafed. My lips are dry and ick too:thank god for lip balm.

On the work front, it's been hell busy. I've been watching the media soak up our previous work and relished the positive support for all the good work we've done. It's refreshing. One friend, Kerri, my bestie for sure, rang with 'Congratulations. You should be proud of yourself." I responded with 'Quietly proud, yes" and she said 'No sister. You should be loudly proud" which made me smile.

I've popped in to see some of my old clients giving them a hug and staying for a coffee. Some of them found me on email (they're a perceptive bunch) and we've been e-talking about stuff since.

New job has been pretty chaotic to say the least. The program hasn't been allocated much funding and so there are a group of us stuck in a decrepit old office with decrepit old office furniture. There are no policies for the work we do, the procedures of induction, orientation etc so I'm working on those bit by bit. The boss is hilarious fun and caring which reflects upon the rest of the new team who are also lovely and warm. I feel comfortable there and get free car parking. They're keen to hear some of my ideas and also offered to split my role into .5 counselling and .5 project work for sexual abuse which is very generous. Given that they're all qualified pyschs' I'm in my element and would like to follow this career path by formalising my degree and eventually opening my own practice and renting a room one day a week etc. They are supportive of this measure and we're all eager to learn from each other. Some of my colleagues whilst qualified have not had the field experience I can offer so we're supporting each other for clinical practices as well.

On the personal front, Carissa 'finally' made up with her dad. They're together this weekend and I'm glad. To see his eyes go misty stopped me in my tracks but I managed to get them together, make them hold hands and get over this tiff. All is well.

Washing has finished so I'm going to keep moving.

Do give me an update on your day to day stuff. How are you ?

Keeping well? busy? Bored?

x

Earth Hour

Tonight at 8 pm until 9 pm, Australia leads the world into an hour of darkness as conservation groups implore every single household, business, building and structure to turn off your lights.

If you want to read more about it, please visit www.news.com.au and check out why you should participate.

Picture above is Sydney.

Cheers and see you soon,
Catherine